You can't mash two yangs together
by Starry Eyed Escapist
Summary: Gretchen and Edward are together, but now what? Sure it seemed like a cute couple because on the OUTSIDE they seemd to match, but what's it really like in a relationship between to very short tempered youngans? Not good, that's for sure! R


No, it just isn't gonna work….

I don't own Camp Lazlo, and if I did you'd know. For one Edward would be dressed more emo and Lazlo would be dead. Ok jk, who doesn't love that little orange monkey? Any who..

MuchaLuchaandMe and me have been having this –cough- argument whether or not Gretchen and Edward would be able to stand one another in a relationship. So here, take it and read.

"Turn off the light will ya?" croaked the young gator from beneath the covers.

"I'll turn em off when I'm done reading," retorted the adolescent platypus.

Gretchen threw back the covers reached over, slamming his book shut.

'There, done" she grouched, pulling the covers back up and over her head.

Edward ground his teeth to stop from strangling her. As calmly as he could, he opened his book to continue reading.

A growl came from beneath the sheets.

"Listen, maybe you're used to getting your way all the time, but this is MY cabin, and these are MY rules!" he explained, his tone getting higher and higher.

The covers flew back again.

"YOU'RE cabin?!" she scoffed, " Excuse me, but after we hooked up, this became OUR cabin!"

"Well I'm the man of the cabin, and what I say, GOES!" he shouted, jutting his thumb at himself.

Gretchen growled and leapt out of the cot.

" Who died and made YOU king? It's always like this with you boys! You guys always think that you guys should be in charge of everything!" she hollered, throwing her hands up.

"Sounds like they're arguing again." Lazlo noted a few cabins down.

"Mm hmm" said Raj as he placed his chess piece diagonally from Lazlo's.

"Therapy" blurted clam.

"Don't by a hypocrite gator! You know you squirrel scouts have it a lot better than the beans! " Edward shouted back.

"Nuh uh, don't EVEN go there!"

"Yah? Well I WENT THERE!"

With a determined grunt, Gretchen thrust herself forward against Edward, pushing him tightly against the backboard.

"You boys have always had the upper hand, and we girls got squat! We stay home, clean the house, watch the children, and when you MEN" she shoved him hard, her hands pressing into his shoulders, " come home from doing SQUAT, you expect us to just open wide!"

Edward shoved out of her grip.

"Fuck no! We have to do our jobs, putting up with our grouchy bosses, annoying co workers, piling paper work, sorting, and lifting stuff, and come home to the women who do nothing but complain!"

"Oh lifting stuff! That's sooo hard!" mocked Gretchen, her hands on her hips.

" At least you don't have to shove something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a grapefruit!"

"Don't you bring the whole child birth thing on me again!" Edward warned.

"Whatcha gonna do? Lift stuff?"

Edward quickly approached Gretchen, taking the collar of her shirt and dragging her right up against the wall. He spoke low through his teeth, very threateningly.

"Listen you big mouthed swamp cunt! I've had enough of women like you who think the whole world is against THEM!" he dug his fist into her chest as he said them, Gretchen actually a little freaked, " when they have men to provide for them, and all we ask is to come home to a nice atmosphere for the first time that day, and eat something other than vending food! So never, NEVER lecture ME about how bad you GIRLS have IT!!" he said, practically yelling at her, though his face was only a half a foot away from hers.

Gretchen's hand suddenly met with Edwards face. It stung and badly, which did not help at all.

Edward pulled back his fist, but as he was about to go, his arm fell limp, and he backed away from her.

"Gretchen, this isn't working out right." He said solemnly all of sudden.

Gretchen straightened her shirt, timid to approach.

"This isn't how I pictured myself so long ago."

Gretchen was overwhelmed with anger now.

'How could he yell at her, shove her and pin her to the wall, then turn things to make it look like only his plans where ruined?' she thought bitterly.

" Oh no! Don't even try that shit with me!" she said, really agitated now.

Edward spun around to face her.

"Try what? Talking things over?" he asked, he too pissed off.

"I know what you're trying to do!"

"You know what? Fuck you! I try to talk it over, and all you want to do is accuse me of playing little tricks and wind me up again! I've gone to too many therapies for this!"

"Accuse my ass! I know for a fact you're trying to get this to look like only you had your hopes and dreams crushed!"

"Oh really? So what did you have in mind then huh miss grand royal?" he asked sarcastically.

"Ending up with a short tempered jack ass was definably now what I had in mind, I'll tell you that!" she snapped.

Edward growled, quickly turning away before he did something stupid. He had so much anger welled up inside him that he took to tipping over the book case and spinning around to face Gretchen.

"Well then leave! Leave for all I care! Who needs a bitch like you to over complicate things anyway?'!" he shouted.

"FINE!!"

Gretchen stormed out of the cabin as it began to rain.


End file.
